Mum's the Word

Its dance time in the South and all the school-age girls are beginning to plan their wardrobe, hair, makeup, shoes, accessories, etc.  It's a crazy time all over the nation but somehow made bigger in the South.  And what dance would be complete without a corsage?  However, in Texas, it’s not a small rosebud with a sprig of baby’s breath.  It’s called a mum and it’s huge.  Literally.  It’s like a cluster of corsages having group sex.

I can remember my first high school dance.  My mother was so excited.  It was all about ‘the mum’.  They were displayed in storefronts like some kind of livestock award: a large blooming middle with streaming ribbons hanging down.  Only the mums for school dances are usually white or school colors.  My mother went on for the whole week, and I admit – I was excited about my first mum too.

My first mum was large and with red and white streamers.  How I stood up with it pinned on, I will never know.  However, not to be outdone by any other Texas mother, mine also sported small cow bells and little blinking white lights.  Nope, not kidding.  I looked and sounded like an electric Bessie.  I swear.

And now my daughter is of age for the mum-madness to begin.  Only she’s even luckier than I was then.  She’s got two women vying for the privilege of adorning a mum to her bosom for prom.  She’s a bit overwhelmed by the whole thing but I’m having a great time with it.  Imagine – two mums pinned to her chest.  She’s going to look like a mobile flower shop.  But as awesome as it is, I have warned her not to go outside during the day or she may just become consumed by bees.  Through it all, at least I can take some solace in that her boyfriend won’t be able to get too close to her on the dance floor as long as she’s got the floral armor pinned to her front.